"Don't be afraid to care. Leave but don't leave me. Look around and choose your own ground. Long you live and high you fly And smiles you'll give and tears you'll cry And all you touch and all you see Is all your life will ever be "
i woke up on the wrong side of the bed today. i thought i would be a sunny day but i was wrong. i thought it would be a sleepy day but i was wrong. i was wide awake in class but i didnt want to listen to the lecture. i heard words floating about in the air and tiny voices in my ears telling to me run away. i did. but i couldnt run away completely. my roots have travelled deep within reality.
i dreamt of bombay last night. its sad. i dont remember the scenes any longer. people talk for hours on phone every night. i dont. i dont want to. what is the point of ranting away the day's activites when the day has already ended hours ago. wouldnt it be nice to star gaze instead. i walked in the rain yesterday, and there was no one around me. it was only me and time walking hand in hand, step by step. i think i caught myself smiling. i wish i didnt have to speak at all. i generally dont like to talk about myself. what is the point. the average attention span is not more than 3 secs. how can i tell my story in 3 secs. i dont want to. friendz. i wonder what is the true nature of friendship. is it someone who can walk wit and listen to the sounds of silence? or is it someone you keep talking to for ages.
i like being there for people. as much as i can. but sometimes, rather most of the times am not able to be there. i tell myself am not needed. they are better off with others.
is it crazy to want to be alone and yet search for company?
why am i studying journalism? is this what i wish to pursue in my life? i dont even know what i want to pursue. i know i want to travel. see people and their awkward lives. watch them compromising on everything they ever believed in. i had once believed in God. maybe now he could have given me some company.
"When I was a child I caught a fleeting glimpse,Out of the corner of my eye.I turned to look but it was gone.I cannot put my finger on it now.The child is grown, the dream is gone. I have become comfortably numb"
5 comments:
It was comforting to see a very human side to a person's personna. It doesnt mean we are terribly flawed, it just means we're all at some moment prone to reject things which seem distorted and look for our personal space.
I thought you've put down your words quite eloquently. Who says you have to be a pretentious little git to be appreciated as an intelligent person?
Looking forward to more sohini.
Reality to dreams to reality. That's the way life is. You dream of what you want and then be. Thats the meaning of existence. To be what you must, then what you need, and lastly what you want to be.
You are never alone. Never. It might be a little bird; there's company even in the wind. Try a memory. It works for me!
Often we feel there's one thing we SO need and we want it at any cost... but when we get it... it's not that great anymore...
We wanna be this, we wanna be that... but never what we actually are... and there's no way out of feeling so!
Great post...
Cheers...
hey soho....u knw wat...i can identify wit sm of ya feelings ,,,be it in the class or while walking alone in the rain..bt the way u've put it in words is beautiful !!!
M going back to damn EXISTENTIALISM after reading this .....good to be there after so long.....
love....
hey i don know if i have answers to all ur questions,but i have to some of em..a friend is someone with whom u don care about filling up the silence..u celebrate it.
And u are always there for ppl when they need you..i have seen you being there and i can vouch for it without a second thought..
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