What happened on Mysore Road

They say before dying your life flashes by you. My life keeps flashing by me every time I am on Mysore road. It doesn’t scare me anymore, it only amuses. I have come to one conclusion I hate BMTC buses. I shouldn’t use the word ‘hate’. It’s perhaps the most abused word after love. I loathe; I detest BMTC buses. Firstly they rattle like tin cans. Secondly the conductors are the worst examples of manhood. And now that I have graduated to the status of a fellow traveler on a scooter; I can bet my life none of these drivers have passed a driver license test. That makes me happy. When my time comes, I shall NOT remain unemployed. I shall apply to BMTC, chew pan and sing BORN TO BE WILD and take on the great task of destroying every scooter on the road. As you must have guessed, I ride a scooter. It’s named Damian. It’s not even mine, it belong to my friend lea. I am just the pillion who needs to remain still for the duration of the ride. Any sudden movement can be too high a price to pay!!!! The feeling is almost like being stoned. Nothing else moves except the brain. Life flashes by over and over again. Curses fly every time there is an encounter with a BMTC bus and finally it all boils down to sexual politics: “men!!” bah humbug!!! I must say we are a fast moving nation; everyone at all odd hours is in a great rush. No excuse for being late shall ever be considered. I have witnessed the rush: our traffic leaves no opportunity to be late. Whether you like it or not, they will all honk and poke the noses of their vehicles and basically not sit still till you pick up pace. Lea has learnt now (you see we are rookies) she pokes Damian’s nose anytime anywhere. Our traffic policemen are there only to help handle this frenzy, so more than once; they tend to let go of all traffic all at once. I don’t understand men, thats the only conclusion I can gather.